Febuary 14th will be here in 12 hours. Earnestly speaking my stomach has been doing full 360 degree flips at the thought of Valentines day 2010. Last night I lay in bed journaling and reading the scriptures, just waiting on the Lord. I began pouring out my heart to God and just sharing with Him the fears I had about the future.
I wondered how I should spend my Valentine's day. I could lay in my bed under the blankets, hugging a bottle of whiskey and sleeping the whole day, waiting for it to be Febuary 15th. I could kit myself up and grab the next geezer and allow him to slobber on my neck and talk about himself for 2 hours straight just so I can say that I have a date. Hmm...both of those options sound so depressing and the latter extremely disgusting.
Or I could spend the day enjoying my time with friends as a single and most importantly in the presence of God. There is something about being in the presence of God that is life changing. I don't know where I will be next Valentines but the stakes are pretty high that I will probably be single still, but to be honest I'm o.k. with that.
We all desire to have relationships but the time as a single woman/man is something that we can't get back once we are married. I mean I am sure marriage is wonderful, yet so is singleness.
It's that idea of being alone that God will work, like the quote says "Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can stand still". As corny as it may sound but I believe that there is purpose in being single. God has brought me to a place where He is actually training me for marriage. Yes, in being single the more time you devote to God, the more I believe you are getting ready for marriage .
Funny that this scripture (vs 34) refers to women not men : I want you to be without care …. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34. God knows that for the woman especially, there is work to be done in her time of singleness. I too asked God "What is my purpose of being single right now?"
I've been praying a lot more, learning to exercise the gifts of the spirit and just fighting my battles on my knees. I pray because I am praying for my family to come, I am exercising the gift of faith because one day I am going to need it for my children. The other day I felt a cold coming on and I knew that if I became sick I would have to miss classes. My throat became soar and my nose blocked but a scripture from Mark 11:12 came to my heart saying "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him."
I stood on the scripture and stood against the sickness commanding it to leave my body. I fell asleep still feeling quite poorly but praise God I woke up the next morning completely whole!
It's just a cold but it made me see that there will come a point in my life that my son or daughter may fall sick and it will call for action. Action in the spirit! Often my mother has laid hands on my siblings and I and the healing came. I used to wonder how she did it. It's because my mother spent many hours in her prayer closest sorting it out with God many years before.
So, being single at 21 (almost 22) isn't that bad at all. I can honestly say that when it's just you and God - heaven begins to move on your behalf. I think relationships are exciting and fun and God will just move all the same . Yet I honestly speaking I have been experiencing a relationship with Him that when Mr Right eventually does come along, I'll know not to put my confidence in man (your man will fail you- simple fact) but in Jesus. Out of my heart's cry I spoke to the Lord and said "Don't bring "the one" along until I've seen you Jesus". Ever since then Jesus has been enough. Don't get me wrong it gets difficult at times and I feel...well I get a little lonely sometimes. However, David in the bible says in Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry... and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
I'm waiting but doing it patiently without the 5 second intervals of "when God?" but just singing a new song to the Lord regarding my life.
Besides my friend says she'll take Lily and I to a chinese restaurant on graduation day if we come out single. As a hard headed Nigerian, I am not about to lose a challenge!
Happy Valentines Day!
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