Let the good times roll...

I am probably the most impatient and anxious person you could ever meet. If it wasn't for God's grace, I would be a walking time bomb ready to explode.

Do you ever get so caught up in your life that you forget what God has done or is doing?  I do all the time.

I'm actually not quite sure the point of this current post, maybe I am just killing time. As I do have an Equity and Trusts lecture in 25 minutes. However, I feel I need to just STOP.WAIT.AND LET IT SINK IN.
I was reading Becca's blog today about "cultivating the soil".  It just confirmed what God was telling me. I found myself reminiscing about the times when things were just so "simple" and "easy-going". The days when the soil in my life was fresh, moist and easy to reap a fruitful harvest.  These past few months, the soil in my life seems hard, and it seems as though a farmer is continually using his hoe to break up it's fallow ground. Ouch it hurts! 
Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, For it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rains righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12

I can't depend on the "good and easy times".  God is teaching me maturity for ministry, my family and most of all HIS GLORY.  I need to seek the Lord and abide in Him even when the ground seems so unfruitful.
Patience is virtue.

In China God showed me how to trust Him

First of all, I am not in China - I am still in Sussex in the computer lab. However, I did want to share a dream I had last night.
I will make it short and snappy too, because first off you don't like to read, and second I have an essay due by Thursday.

Dream:

I dreamt that I was in China, and there was war all around me.  I needed to get into safety because I was walking on the enemies territory.  So, I boarded a military truck which was transporting soldiers over the land. I hid in the truck and waited for my time to jump off. I was so scared because I was right in the enemies midst.  Eventually, I sought  the courage to jump off the moving vehicle and I landed. Well, I tumbled and fell flat on my face.

Anyway, I got up off the ground and dusted myself off. Looking around I found that I jumped off into a landmine. There were explosives all around me. If I made one false move I was dead.  Suddenly a soldier appeared with heavy weaponry and started shouting to me in Chinese. I couldn't understand a word he was saying (sorry I haven't been trained to dream in Mandarin).  In spite of all this, I could tell the soldier was concerned for my well being. He was pointing and speaking in Chinese, trying to tell me how to avoid the mines and the path I should go on.

As I jotted this down in my journal this morning, scriptures came to my mind :

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

I couldn't understand what this guy was saying. Which way? What should I do? I knew I had to get clarity if not I will be blown to smitherines.

All of sudden, a little girl and boy came hopping through the landmine. They were skipping and laughing, dodging and weaving the bombs. They seemed so care-free despite playing amongst death.

The solider in his sterness told the children to take my hand and lead me through the mines. So they did.

I followed them.

I saw a path which was clearly marked and seemed safe. I told the children that it may be safer to take this path, rather than skipping and hopping over land mines.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways acknowledge him,  and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs: 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

If I had followed the path which looked right and clear to me, my life would have been over.

The children knew better, so we continued leaping and skipping over the landmine.

Just like in Song of Songs when the King is asking His spouse to skip over the mountains and to come away with Him.

Finally we came to safety . There is more to the dream but I will save that for my journal. However, there is something so profound about this dream.

You see, the night before I had been praying to God to make clear His will concerning my life . I had tried to figure it out for myself but it only caused me to become frustrated and agitated.

I've actually been a little apprehensive about praying to God due to fear of disappointment or praying for the wrong thing.

The dream showed me a few things. a) The soldier I believed represented the voice of God- before we hear God we need to know Him. I wasn't familiar with Chinese and couldn't understand. I could only pick up a few things of what he was saying. That reflects some of our lives today. We can't really tune into the voice of God because we are not familiar with His "language".

b) But God being ever merciful, sent help. The children I believe represented the faith I should have. Faith like a child. In the midst of uncertainty, and trails - I need to have faith like children. These children were so care-free in the midst of the landmine.
c) I have rational thoughts- there are directions in my life which seem clear and easy but will only lead to my destruction. Sometimes, I need to have faith in God rather than trusting my own instincts.
d) Having faith like a child will bring me to safety.

Butterfly and Pearls - New kid on the block

Hello, my name is Chizor Beverley Opara, I am 21, bordering 22 and I am a law student in the United Kingdom.

I just came across Kelly's Korner via another blog's link. She invited all those that use blogspot as a ministry to others to come and spread the word. That is so funny because last night I was in bed praying and I said to the Lord " God please connect me to women of God who blog in order to minister to the brokenhearted" then this morning I heard of Kelly's Korner.

I began blogging not to long ago actually, after going through the "deep valley" during my 2nd year at law school. This required me to be pulled to the feet of Jesus and in the midst of it all the Lord told me to write.
 God walked me through issues with my weight, depression, anxiety, insecurities and mental health.  I am yet to write my testimony on here, but God has been so gracious to me. And to be honest if I hadn't experienced so much in my life, I don't think I could minister to people on on campus, abroad and on the worldwide web.

I write if God puts things on my heart so that I can edify the body, as I feel that there are so many hurting women in the church who are being overlooked.

Also I am learning to keep to word limits so bear with me!

God bless

The Pursuit of Happiness...battling Depression

I don't know about you but I've come to the realization that many young people deal with depression. God has truly been placing a burden on my heart regarding friends and family who deal with it. I believe I have no right to write about depression if I haven't had a fair share of it already.


No matter how little the issue is that caused you to become depressed or how deep the wound is - pain is pain. That's why I wrote a few tips encouraging other people who fight against depression.



1. Get out of bed in the morning: During my life, an incident occurred which threw me off course. My biggest struggle was to get out bed in the morning. If you have experienced grief then maybe some of you can relate to this. It wasn't that I was tired but I was just afraid to face the world. My body was in agony and my heart was heavy. I wanted to lie there and ponder on obsessive thoughts that were not of God. "Everything seemed so pointless."

The worst thing you can do when going through a time of sorrow is to stay in bed. We wake from a fitful, 
You need to press on; staying in bed actually makes everything a lot worse. And do you know what you don't need to wake up feeling helpless. God's word says This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24.

God who is altogether lovely and perfect created today. So go ahead and rejoice in it!



2. Eat well

I've found that to bring honour and glory to God we need to take care of the body. I remember a time where I was so devastated by circumstances in my life - and this is the honest truth, within a few days I had dropped in weight dramatically. It's as though my appetite flew out the window. I had worked myself into such a state that my clothes were hanging off me, my jeans wouldn't stay up and I could see bones on my body where I didn't even think I had bones. Every few minutes I had to sit down because my body was so exhausted all the time due to lack of nutrition. I was over-working my body.

However I have learned to be good to my body. Start  eating regularly, cooking nice meals for yourself and every morning have a nutritious breakfast. You should cherish yourself too!

I found that when people are going through rough patches in life, there can be a tendency to over eat. God is with you and so use your physical body as a testimony to God's faithfulness. Exercise is believed to also increase the release of the brain chemicals that affect our mood and make us feel happier.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

3. Fight depression on your knees: in prayer and in the Word of God

For reasons beyond me, I found that in the early days of facing trials, I was so upset that I could fall asleep but wake up 45 minutes later. Only to be plagued with thoughts that were haunting me. I would fall asleep again and as you can guess 45 minutes later I was awake. Thinking, crying, distressed. This was getting ridiculous. So, I began keeping my bible and journal by my bedside. Therefore, whenever I did wake up in the middle of the night I could easily just reach over and pick up my bible before evil thoughts came. This is an art to be practiced, it does not come easy. You may find that you are still waking up again, but what you need to do is reach over for that bible and read it. Keep on going! Nowadays I can sleep quite peacefully without having to wake up. I go to bed with the Word of God in my heart. I can tell you it works like soothing medicine. Proverbs 4:20-22 My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.

Let me be frank: you are not going to fight this battle on the offense alone - you need Jesus to be right there with you in the midst of it all. His Word is true - I can testify to that!

4. Seek help

No one should go through the battle of depression alone. Jesus has no desire to leave you or forsake you in the midst of it. In the midnight hour God is there - ever present as He is, holding your hand.

I believe it's the Church's responsibility to gather around hurting people. There is a popular belief that goes along the lines of this: "If you are dealing with depression then it's because you have no faith”. What?! That is crazy and most of all unbiblical. King David the Psalmist experienced extreme depression - look through all the "dark Psalms" it's there in black and white. Sorry if I am hitting some soft spots but how can we be effective in the world if we are neglecting our own community.

The final point I want to make is if it's getting very bad, then don't feel condemned to see a doctor. Ultimately Jesus is our Great Physician and He should be our first point of contact but go seek professional help if you need to. I know depression can be caused by hormone imbalances, don't feel guilty and less of a Christian if you may need to take medication at times to keep in balance.

But I do want to stress again that Jesus is whom we should turn to first.

I know each situation differs but through prayer and seeking Godly counsel, I pray this really helps somebody see the strength of Jesus in their situation.

Why I am determined to make Valentine's day a good'un

It's that time of year again, yes it's the official Clinton Cards day of "Love". Valentines day!

Febuary 14th will be here in 12 hours.   Earnestly speaking my stomach has been doing full 360 degree flips at the thought of Valentines day 2010. Last night I lay in bed journaling and reading the scriptures, just waiting on the Lord. I began pouring out my heart to God and just sharing with Him the fears I had about the future. 

I wondered how I should spend my Valentine's day. I could lay in my  bed under the blankets, hugging a bottle of whiskey and sleeping the whole day, waiting for it to be Febuary 15th. I could kit myself up and grab the next geezer and allow him to slobber on my neck and talk about himself for 2 hours straight just so I can say that I have a date. Hmm...both of those options sound so depressing and the latter extremely disgusting.
Or I could spend the day enjoying my time with friends as a single and most importantly in  the presence of God. There is something about being in the presence of God that is life changing.  I don't know where I will  be next Valentines but the stakes are pretty high that I will probably be single still, but to be honest I'm o.k. with that.
We all desire to have relationships but the time as a single woman/man is something that we can't get back once we are married.  I mean I am sure marriage is wonderful, yet so is singleness.
It's that idea of being alone that God will work, like the  quote says "Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can stand still".   As corny as it may sound but I believe that there is purpose in being single.  God has brought me to a place where He is actually  training me for marriage.  Yes, in being single the more time you devote to God, the more I believe you are getting ready for marriage .
Funny that this scripture (vs 34)  refers to women not men : I want you to be without care …. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34.  God knows that for the woman especially, there is work to be done in her time of singleness. I too asked God "What is my purpose of being single right now?"


I've been praying a lot more, learning to exercise the gifts of the spirit and just fighting my battles on my knees.  I pray because I am praying for my family to come, I am exercising the gift of faith because one day I am going to need it for my children. The other day I felt a cold coming on and I knew that if I became sick I would have to miss classes. My throat became soar and my nose blocked but a scripture from Mark 11:12  came to my heart saying "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." 
I stood on the scripture and stood against the sickness commanding it to leave my body. I fell asleep still feeling quite poorly but praise God I woke up the next morning  completely whole!
It's just a cold but it made me see that there will come a point in my life that my son or daughter may fall sick and it will call for action. Action in the spirit! Often my mother has laid hands on my siblings and I and the healing came.  I used to wonder how she did it.  It's because my mother spent many hours in her prayer closest sorting it out with God many years before.

So, being single at 21 (almost 22) isn't that bad at all. I can honestly say that when it's just you and God - heaven begins to move on your behalf. I think relationships are exciting and fun and God will just move all the same .  Yet I honestly speaking I have been experiencing a relationship with  Him that when Mr Right eventually does come along,  I'll know not to put my confidence in man (your man will fail you- simple fact) but in Jesus.  Out of my heart's cry I spoke to the Lord and said "Don't bring "the one" along until I've seen you Jesus". Ever since then Jesus has been enough. Don't get me wrong it gets difficult at times and I feel...well I get a little lonely sometimes.  However, David in the bible says in Psalms 40:1-3   I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry... and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
I'm waiting but doing it patiently without the 5 second intervals of "when God?" but just singing a new song to the Lord regarding my life.

Besides my friend says she'll take Lily and I to a chinese restaurant on graduation day if we come out single. As a hard headed Nigerian, I am not about to lose a challenge!

Happy Valentines Day!

Make room for grace...it's not fair God!

Let's be honest with ourselves, somethings in life are just not "fair".
I've actually come to  realize that we all need the grace of God.  My friend Shana told me the story of her father abandoning  her mother only to begin an affair with her mother's best friend.  Some of us reading this have already put our "judgemental hats" on and are wagging a stern finger at Shana's father.  When she recited the story to me, I asked her one question. "Did your father ever apologise to your mother?".  Guess what? Her father never once said he was sorry, in fact he thought what he did was acceptable and he had no regrets.

As a law student or even going to the University of Sussex (which is extremely liberal) we all cry out for FREEDOM and JUSTICE.  If a little girl is raped by her step-dad and her young body is chopped into pieces, we accept justice to be done. But sometimes  the father gets off scott free. How do we explain this? Why aren't people being punished for such shamelessness?

Speaking to a lot of aethists and non-believers this week I found that a lot of people have an issue with the whole concept of God allowing suffering and the wicked prospering. It's because God has put in our heart a desire for justice and righteousness. I am not going to get onto the topic of suffering right now...that will be a later blog. However, after talking to Shana and about what  she had been through she told me something profound. She said "Chizor let's face it, the world is a pretty crap place. Chizor life isn't going to be blissful. Justice won't always be done. You (speaking hypothetically) may get married to someone who is stuck in internet pornography or worse still is an adulteror and an abuser- life is just crap. But you are going to have make room for GRACE."

I began to think of all the horrible stuff I do against Jesus. If he punished me and gave me what I deserved for every sin- I believe I would have been dead.  Yet the Saviour King makes room for grace.
I believe we all could learn a lesson here. It's not about letting people get away with things but...I think it's just acknowledging the fragility of humans.
People are going to do things which are unexplainable. The saying goes like this:  hurting people hurt other people. I was always a strong believer of the idea that "If you hurt me be prepared to get what's coming to you" or "Apologise...right NOW!" Imagine if God had that attitude towards us. Where would I be? Where would YOU be?  Let's look at reality : Life isn't always fair to us.

To be frank, last night I asked God "When will all this pain end because I am getting weary?" My question was speaking out of my circumstances. I wanted circumstances in my life to change in order to be happy. I wanted to find my happiness in situations. The bible says in Psalm 42 :Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope [confidence] in God, for I will yet praise him...
What we need is not so much a change of story but rather the grace to walk the chapter out. Hehehe...that was pretty deep right there.  As God gave us grace let us be gracious to others.

That's all I really could share tonight. I wanted to write more but couldn't.

Night!

B*itch!, S*lt, Whore! - So, I shared my testimony last night

B*itch!, S*lt, Whore! Those were the words coming out of Nay's mouth during her readpation of the The Woman at the Well  last night.  As some of you are aware the Christian Union are putting on events all this week on campus just to get people aware of what the Christian Union actually do and most especially who J.C is (for all of you who are not current with Christian colloquialism it means Jesus Christ.) 

To cut a long story short, I had volunteered a few weeks ago to share my testimony with students at one of the local bars on campus for our Open Mic event.  I was scared silly! I couldn't really concentrate on the music - which was awesome by the way but I never expected such a crowd. A crowd of non- christians...

I don't know why it never occured to me that I was required to give my life story infront of non-believers- it just didn't click. My heart had been doing flips all day, and I suddenly whispered into my friend's Lois's ear whilst the band was playing and asked: "Can you PLEASE pray for me?".  As lovely as Lois's is, that's exactly what she did. After she prayed I just felt God telling me that my testimony wasn't about me, and I had nothing to be ashamed about.  The word "B*itch* was no longer my name, but He had given me a new name.

God wanted me to be just the vessel and He would speak through me.

Ok, it's one thing giving your testimony in front of christians at your local church, it's a totaly different pond having to share your testimony in front of aethists, muslims, skeptics, homosexuals and others. And you know that Sussex University is the most unreligious and most liberal university you could ever come across.  A few minutes being behind the mic, I began to drop the name of Jesus. Yes I began to speak about how the same resurrecting power of Jesus Christ came into my life.

A lot of my Christian friends didn't even know my testimony, they were all shocked. But there was nothing that I did or said that caused this to happen. It was because the presence of Jesus showed up in that bar.

Do you know what happened after that?  Jesus get's all the glory, but my friend Becky comes up to me and says "Chizor, thank you for sharing your testimony, my housemate (who is not a christian) heard your testimony and wants to get onto an Alpha Course. I am trying not to cry right now Chizor but thank you". There is nothing that I did! I am not writing this to pomp myself up but I will say this though, WHEN THE POWER OF JESUS SHOWS UP EVEN THE AETHIST'S IDEOLOGIES WILL HAVE TO BOW TO THAT NAME!

Joyce Meyer aka Aunty Joyce who suffered child abuse at the hands of her father once said: "Sometimes God will allow you to go through somethings just to help someone else". I used to get so mad hearing this. I say "God, you mean I have to suffer pain and experience heartbreak to help somebody else?" God in His infinite patience will kindly answer me: " Yes, Chizor now get our of your self-pity".

I've always wanted to be a missionary and help the brokenhearted but if I am at Law School to allow Becky's friend to hear my testimony of Jesus then "yes and amen". The other day, I recieved an email from someone who I least expected an email from. They just told me how my blogs had been blessing to them and my writings (inspired by the Holy Spirit) caused him to desire to remain more focused on God.

I do nothing, I am just a vessel. Be encouraged in your pain! God's not finished with your story yet!

The Word is our legal authority

Today, I really reconsidered deactivating my facebook again.  Just after two days, I began to think whether or not this was such a great idea.  The thought came to my mind, slowly followed by fear.  You know that fear which is the crippling sort, the fear which just magnifies such a small issue.  Some of you are probably thinking "Chizor, it's just facebook get a hold of yourself ". Exactly my point - the fear that tried to have access began to make a silly thing as facebook seem like a 10 foot demon.

But even 10 foot demons will bow at the nama of Jesus!  At this point my stomach was doing flips and churning at the idea of having my facebook on again.  Then the scripture came to my spirit  2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Whenever I used to read that scripture to be truthful, I didn't really understand what it meant.  Now, I believe I do. You see, when the fear began to play on my mind, I knew I had to bring this "imagination" and "thought" to the obedience of Christ.  I spoke to myself and said "For God has NOT given me a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of SOUND MIND." 2 Timothy 1:7.
I brought the imagination into the subjection of Christ through the scriptures.

As you know I am currently studying law, and for any good lawyer to be good at his or her job and have a succesful case they need to know the law to back up their argument. There is a certain rule of thumb known as staris decis (once a court has used a certain method to pass a judgement, the same method in other cases must be used), for your case to be succesful you need to rely on that leading authority because it will overrule everything else that others are saying. It's the same way with the Word. The authority in that book overrides every  evil thought which is not of God. If you feel you are not beautiful enough, check this out, your legal authority says in Psalm 139: 14 that "...I am fearfully and wonderfully made". It overrules that judgement you tried to pass on yourself!

The only way that you are going to see victory in your life is when you get into the Word of God. I mean you need to get so deep into the Word that it's coming up over your head.  I have learnt that if I do not stand on the Word of God on a daily basis then I give those fears and anxieties dominion.

An Angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him - The Reality of Gethsemane

I wanted to share a little about the reality of the Garden of Gethsemane and how it sometimes can be seen in our day and time.

Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood

Luke 22:39-43

The other day I listened to a preaching by a man called Dr Charles Stanley who is the pastor at the First Baptist Church of Atlanta. His sermon was on the short passage in Luke 22:39-43. He spoke about  God bringing you to your knees through certain circumstances.  Jesus was a prime example of being brought to His knees during a moment of pain before He was to go the cross.  I think sometimes we just become so familiar with this passage that we forget the actual reality of it. We just see it as a story which is read out on Easter Sunday.

Th passage illustrates the height of human anguish and turmoil, which I believe  not one single person on this earth  has experienced what Jesus felt.  Jesus in verse 42 saw what was  inside "the cup of suffering". What do you think was inside this cup that caused our Saviour to break out in a sweat which produced blood?  Good guess, I can't really imagine either but we know that it definetly wasn't orange juice. Jesus saw the wrath of God in that cup, he saw the affliction that was about to come upon Him. But most importantly (and I tear up everytime I read this),  He saw that for a moment He will have to be separted from God.  That was a little too much for Him but He persisted with the Father's will.

Let's bring the story home. What really struck me in this chapter had to be verse 44 " An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him".  Jesus was distressed in spirit, that an angel had to even come and intervene to strengthen him.

Have you ever gone to bed unable to sleep? You were so distressed that you cried and cried, turning from one side of the bed to the other so confused about life. Have you ever been in so much emotional pain that it felt like your insides were going to fall out there and then. Most of you can probably answer yes. I, too have experienced this. A while ago, I experienced  this feeling.  I could not sleep and sleeping pills were not an option for me.  I cried out " GOD SEND ME AN ANGEL!"  I literally looked around my room  hoping to see an angel there. Umm...no! Nothing appered. Not even a glimmer of light. Anyway, I eventually fell asleep and I dreamt the following:

I dreamt I was in church service. The pastor was Nigerian, and some of you probaly know that Nigerian church services are pretty intense. Well, the pastor went around prophesying over people in the congregation and he came to where I was sitting. "Why do you cry?" He asked. I was a little annoyed with that question. I responded: "Why should I not cry? I have a reason to". He dismissed my bad attitude and said thus " It's will be okay, go and read Psalm 77" and then I woke up from the dream.

Now here is the significance: If you have your bible look at what is says in Psalm 77. The writer of the Psalm is so upset that he hasn't slept all night, his soul can't be comfoted, he is distressed. But he remembers the goodness of God.

If I tell you that I had read that Psalm before the dream I would be lying.  Until that night I hadn't come across that scripture before but God in His infinte mercy sent the messenger in the dream to give it to me.

Now, the other day upon reading the scripture in Luke about Jesus on His knees, I managed to line the scripture up with the dream I had months before. I had seen the reality of angels coming to strengthen me in my own Gethsemane.

Just to encourage you,  I do not believe any of us will feel what Jesus felt but I do know that times will get rough but  look at Psalm  34: 7 the angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.

God has not forgotten you in your Gethsemane. He knows the answer to every uncertainity and sometimes we have to trust God even when we don't have all the answers.

I hope this blesses someone! Sorry, it's so long.

I have not reached where God wants me to fully be but THANK GOD I am definitely not where I used to be.

Well as you can see I decided to re-emerge from 'reality' to the bliss of social networking a.k.a facebook.
I apologise (especially to my foreign counterparts) for being incognito these past few months, but I took it upon myself to commit social sucide and delete my facebook for a while.  However, due to sound advice I begun blogging a while back - I know it's only small beginnings but I am getting a knack for it. I believe God wants me to go somewhere with this blog but for now I am just showing small excerpts of what God has been revealing to me.

I just want to give a little update on what's been going on these past few months. Let's just say my 2nd year at Law School has been quite the journey but God has been holding me each step of the way. Right now my hearts desire is to finish up uni, and begin training as a family lawyer/child attorney and go after God's agenda for my life which he showed my several years before.

Do you know when it get's to that point where it's just you and God?  I mean God gives you the way of the gospel just raw and no strings attached.  I can honestly say and I am quoting from Joyce Meyer that : " I have not reached where God wants me to be fully but I am definitely not where I used to be. "   I've been doing a lot of soul searching. Yes, soul searching. It may sound like New Ageism to some but I had to get to a point where I had to ask the question "Who are you God?"  No, I haven't been pointing fingers at God in accusation, far from it but I really wanted God to reveal Himself in His pure, untainted form.  I believe the Lord was delighted in that question so He responded with "... Come and talk with me". And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming" Psalm 27:8

You see, God can bring blessings to us so that we can comply with His will and He can also bring pain in order to show us His perfect will. Let me rephrase that, God doesn't bring us pain but He will allow it but only for a season.

Recently,  and I never thought I would hear myself say this but my prayer has been "Lord, allow me to see your face" .
That's a dangerous prayer point right there because it may involve purification of human nature in exchange for His.

I feel like it's an end of an era but only to begin the BEST era of my life. I have begun stepping on grounds that I would never imagine were possible but when God gets you on your own you begin to serve the God with whom all things are possible.

More blogs are yet to come.

There is a friend that sticks closer than a sister part II

I wanted to just do a follow up on my last blog 'there is a friend that sticks closer than a sister'.  It's really been on my mind. I felt a little lonely today. You know that feeling that comes when you are around a thousand people but still feel alone. I get like that sometimes.
Anway this evening I had to watch this really annoying film titled "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" for my American Studies module...it was really stupid. Well during the film I suddenly began to feel a little lonely maybe due to the love scene between Dana Wynter and Kevin McCarthy. I just said to God "Lord comfort me, I know you can" and as I said that the response I percieved in my spirit was thus: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother -  Proverbs 18:24.
Then the revelation hit me at that moment as Kevin McCarthy was declaring his undying love for the gorgeous Dana Wynter amidst the giant mutant cabbages (c'mon it's a 1956 sci fi movie) that Jesus has been and will always be my best friend.  Peace just came all over me at that moment.  I don't know it seems like in the past few months I have become familiar with Him and I am not as scared as I was to approach His throne of grace.

I have just started reading this book by Watchman Nee in my spare time titled " The Song of Songs - The Divine Romance Betwen God and Man". It was given to by Lilian's older brother for encouragement. It's quite good so far, just about seeking God and enjoying a relationship with Him.

Right back to seminar prep!

There is friend that sticks closer than a sister...Proverbs 18:24

I decided to paraphrase the scripture in the above title a little bit today. I hope you don't mind.
I actually wanted to dedicate this to some of my closest friends(Lilian, Alison andTuki) and yet at the same time discuss the godly importance of friendship. Actually it was these ladies that inspired me to start blogging since I gave up facebook.

For those of you that don't know, I live with three other girls who are like my best friends, prayer partners and confidents.  Last year we all decided to rent this really pretty house during our stay in Brighton as students and since then it's been bliss.
Well let me not exaggerate, it hasn't been entirely perfect but God has had tremendous grace on us. We never really argued, always helped each other out around the house, lent money if money needed to be lent and prayed for each other when prayer was need (which was always).
Our first argument or let's say disagreement was on Friday. I won't go until details but there was division and we girls got our feelings hurt. People avoided each other and nobody really wanted to confront the issue.
But we had to get over ourselves and speak about it. However, it seemed so strange  that this "perfect house" was having issues. I mean we were getting along so great. I am not boasting on my friends, but they are truly the best! People come to our house and are just amazed at how well we get along with each other and how there is so much peace. Peace which we as housemates often take for granted.

To cut a long story short, after the dispute we went out eat Chinese at the Gecko resturaunt (Yuck! Sorry for the bad publicity but that place was nasty!) in town and the next day I sat with Tukiya and curled her hair for her.
As I was doing her hair, it just made me think of friendship. You can argue with people, fight with people but when you love them it's so easy to put those things aside. Yes, you may feel extremely disappointed with them if they have hurt you but love overcomes it all. I just felt so at peace that I could do my friend's hair and forget about petty arguments.

I think we do some pretty bad things to Christ himself, but His love always draws us back to Him. Personally, I can say that my friends have shown me the love of Christ . When life was getting a little too much for me and the tears were uncontrollable, they all gathered around me and prayed for me. When I couldn't sleep because the enemy was trying to attack my mind, it was Lilian who allowed me to sleep in her room at 3 a.m. in the morning. That's Christ right there! If anybody is teaching anything different then they are lying!!!

I saw the love of Christ through my friends and continually see it!

Just thought I'd share!!!!

When university is over and we are in different parts of the world, I pray we will always remember this song! This song is for you Ashurst Road girls!

oad girls!!

xxxx