It's 12:35 a.m. and I cannot sleep at all. I feel as though I am seeing things in my life from an objective point of view.
I've put up walls- walls with broken glass and barbed wire around the edges. I've put up these walls in my life and it hurts knowing that I have to tear them down in order to be set free entirely. I never really understood how much a situation could have such a tremendous impact on your life up until recently. Walls are not good to have. I want to pour out my heart in this particular blog.
I've been in bondage and have allowed my issues, my regrets and my hurts to shut other people out in order to protect myself. Sometimes I don't know I'm doing it but I am very well guarded.
I realize that my "tough girl" attitude is getting old and that Jesus desires that I live in total freedom.
Jesus really has come and he HAS healed the broken hearted and bound up their wounds. He did it all on the cross. We as women or even men do not need to "protect" ourselves anymore, God has made a way so that we can live life and have life in abundance.
I'm going through yet another transitional stage of the healing process and this I believe is the final stage but it's going to be the hardest and that is becoming vunerable again.
Hmm...you maybe asking yourself if I like someone right now? Hmm...well there is someone I have enjoyed hanging out with but all the time these huge barricades keep coming up. In summary I've been playing the hard-core rude "gyal" who isn't going to get screwed over- ever. But that's not a godly attitude to have.
Today, I released somethings and I am happy I did.
In closing, I am succumbing to the idea of having to be vunerable to love again. No, I haven't found that special someone just yet but I am learning to accept that not everybody will behave as those from the past.
It's time to stop grieving as Samual grieved so long over Saul, but rather get up, fill your horn with oil and go to the house of Jesse because God has chosen something better for you (1 Samuel 16:1).
In closing, the apostle Paul wrote "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead " Philippians 3:13.
God's way is perfect, inhale, exhale. Enjoy your life and let down those walls. It's a good day
In Christ
Chizor
1 comment:
I came across your blog thru the comment you left for It's Raining Pearls. What a treasure I already find you to be & look fwd to becoming blog buddies. Pls. come visit my blog & sit a spell to revel in the Lord! You will indeed find rest there.
In reading your latest post, I have several comments. I KNOW where you are. I still remain there to a degree. But, you need to know a few things. #1 - God will take that broken glass you have on your walls & make a lovely kaleidescope to bring you pleasure & peace. And #2 - it is the struggle to break free of the cocoon that brings the butterfly it's strength to fly.
In facing these new situations, I encourage you to read my favorite Scripture, Jeremiah 6:16a, which goes perfectly with Isaiah 48:17-18, and the assurance of John 14:27. There is such peace you will find when you COMPLETELY surrender all to Christ. (Read my "Blessed Peace" post from May 4 & watch the video I posted May 11).
I welcome you as a friend & invite you to please follow me as well. The Lord has glorious things in store for you, dear one. Just let Him!
Hugs ~ Merana
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