Therefore if anyone is in Christ, [is like a butterfly] he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new

Sunday 11 July 2010

Summer in Savannah (7) - Get married, work in Starbucks, have my baby



I have such a hard time making decisions. One of my weakness is that I always settle for what will be an easy choice for me. I hate having preferences, I like things black and white (no pun intended). Just simple with no complications in between.
  Let me just share a little story for you :
A few years ago, I dreamed of living a simple life. I wanted to be married, get pregnant and work in Starbucks until my baby was born. Then once my baby was born I would stay at home, loving and caring for the child until the next baby was due. And so forth. Mum and Dad if you are reading this "I AM SO SORRY" for having such thoughts. But it was true I went through a period of wanting things to be just simple. I didn't want much. Not much drama but a regular, normal life. Well, with a name like Chizor which happens to sound like "Cheese", you can't really ask for simplicity. I just didn't want to venture out anymore, I was ready to get up and quit Law School in order to have my "Simple Life".
Now, please do not hear what I am not saying. If you are pregnant and are working in Starbucks then that's awesome but it just wasn't for me.
Whenever God had a direct message for me, He would always use animals to describe my situation. He often uses imagery of birds esspecially the eagle. Now, we all know that the eagle flies higher than the common bird and most importantly the eagle knows how to soar above the storm.
It's so funny but months prior to coming to Savannah, storms were hitting my life big time. Everything was coming up against me to stop me from coming back to Georgia. Yet the Word of God proved itself to be true for in Psalm 23:5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Applying this scripture to my life - God put me back in Georgia, back in the place I was running away from and He set my table for His glory. I was obliged to soar above my storm. I was running away from drama and confrontations, I wanted to have the simple life. However, simplicity can be boring  especially when you serve an adventerous God.
Do I miss not having my simple dream? Certainly not! I still have my heart for the family and how important it is for me to see stable families. Nevertheless, God has put a deeper calling in my heart and I believe He is bringing that desire to completion this summer.
I have 5 cases which I am working on currently, that is 5 families I have to meet with and interview. That is 5 children who are under DFCS custody (Department of Family and Children Services) due to allegations of child abuse. I am required to visit the children in their various foster homes and report back to the Judge with a recommendation regarding their future welfare. Do you know how hard it is to be strong and not break down and cry when a 8 year girl is explaining to you (to the best of her knowledge) why her mother is incarcerated? Often I've felt like walking out of the courtroom in order to go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out due to the horrific child abuse cases I have to listen to. Do I really want to give up my simple Starbucks and baby dream for this? Yes! I do! Some may frown and tell me to my face that it isn't bibilical that I choose to one day be a child attorney AND a mother. I'm not going to argue with them on that one. All I know is this is the desire God put in my heart and since it is from Him, I will follow it through.
Goodbye 5 year plan, white pickett fence, stock broker husband, 2.5 kids and collier dog! Hello God's Pefect Will.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol your dream plan sounds like what most girls ive met..dream of. They just want a baby these days but its difficult! me as a guy and a single parent now, its tough work.

youre young and have so much to live for! seems like youre doing a good job. have fun enjoy it

Merana Leigh said...

Always follow God's path, my dear! Dreams are good. But I've learned to follow "Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" to a different degree. I pray for HIS desire for my heart b/c I've come to learn that I only mess it up when I pursue my heart's desire. The funny thing is...He's teaching me to fine tune that desire so it's in line with His (and boy, have I learned some painful lessons that I can't trust my aching heart the way I can trust Him)!