To be truthful, I love to blog. It's actually my hobby but I just wish I more time and MONEY to invest in my blog. Hence, why my website looks disastrous at the moment.
It's almost a one full year that God took me on a long, painful but rewarding journey. If you want to know the details of the story, ask and I will tell you. However, I will never actually go into details on my website.
Up until today, I do not understand why God picked me out of all my friends to go through this. I guess I will never completely understand until I get to heaven.
Nonetheless, there is a famous quote which goes without saying : When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better!
Have I received that "better" thing yet? With a resounding "Yes!", my Saviour certainly has restored 10 fold.
I've learnt to know God for myself. My prayer, my whole life has been "God allow me to know you". I spent a whole gap year in the States, praying for the same thing over and over again. My favourite song during that year was "Where you go I go" by Brian and Jenn Johnson. I would sing it several times a day. Did I understand the depth of that song? The lyricist sings about following God NO MATTER what. Following the Spirit of God in an out of season. God was and is testing my heart. Would I say true to the same song I would sing every day? Even if everything I held so close to me slipped away?
God tested my heart and He did just that. He stripped away every "idol" and "shrine" I had constructed in my life. Basically, He took away that thing that I was holding onto with a death grip.
But to be honest readers...sometimes I feel I have failed in certain areas. I feel I have failed the test. My heart hasn't always been true to God. However, when I feel like I'm slipping away, I have to bring to rememberance the goodness of the Lord. I've failed the test several times but often I beat myself up over the things I'm doing wrong but I never look at how much progress I have made.
In closing, I just want to inform you all that I'm not giving up on God. Why? Because, despite all my junk God has never ever given up on me. I vow not to take the Lord's goodness for granted but I want to be made more in His likeness.
Job 23:10 But He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me [my heart] , I will come out as pure gold
No matter, the situation if our faith and trust remain in God, our heart's though refined in the fire, we shall surely come forth as pure gold.
In Christ
Chizor
3 comments:
Awwww i like this Chizor, and sometimes we can't see a reason for what we have been through but we just have to trust that it is happening for a reason and that it is for the right reason. When one door closes another door opens and i always try to be positive even in situations that break us down but i always wonder "WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?"... i've always liked the saying (well a line from Disney's Tarzan theme tune) "TRUST YOUR HEART AND LET FATE DECIDE" in your case your FATE is GOD and i am not religious but i do believe there is something there that maps out our every move whether it's god or it's fate. Even so, God has wonderful things planned for you because you're a lovely person and every door of yours that has been closed, You just wait 'til all the new doors open.
Mikhaila xxx
P.S did u remember to reschedule that kitchen meeting??
Hi Chizor,
What you share is encouraging to all who struggle in this life. Like you, I can say, "I've failed the test" many times but I see how God's grace is extended to me; encouraging me to continue on.
I realize now that it's not necessary to beat myself up because of my failure, God hasn't given up on me. I find this most encouraging.
As you say, "No matter, the situation if our faith and trust remain in God, our heart's though refined in the fire, we shall surely come forth as pure gold."
Blessings and peace.
MTJ
I'm sorry I'm JUST now reading this. I've been so busy that I haven't been on here for awhile & the withdrawal has been awful (hence why I'm on here at 6:30a on a Saturday when I don't have the boys!)!!
Several things struck me, dear one, while reading your post & the comments. #1 - I think the most significant thing I've ever read is where you said, "God has never ever given up on me. I vow not to take the Lord's goodness for granted but I want to be made more in His likeness. Job 23:10 But He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me [my heart] , I will come out as pure gold". WOW - SOOOOO needed that to apply to my life at some future date. Life is good right now for me. But I know the valleys will come. I've given up on Him before, BUT HE'S NEVER GIVEN UP ON ME! HUGE point! Thank you!!!! #2 - as both you & MTJ said... I, too, fail miserably on a daily basis when God grants me YET ANOTHER opportunity (to be patient). But, then He's gracious enough to provide me the same opportunity the next day (and the next & the next.... ;o}!!!) One day I WILL pass that test! (ok, ok...I'm getting better, but haven't quite succeeded!) #3 - as I read Mikhaila's comment "What did I do to deserve this?", I've asked myself that a gazillion times to have the Spirit just NOW tell me, "because I trust you with it". WOW! God trusts me with whatever challenge, heartache, struggle, brokenness I'm facing so that He can shine all the brighter to a darkened world!
Prayers have been answered, my dear friend, that you continue to turn to Him. Just like the Spirit said to me once, "If you've given up on God, then why are you still talking to Him?" If you still are, then you haven't given up. And He WILL bless you for that, dear one! Many hugs & much love ~ Merana
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