So here is my long anticpated article that I said I will write with regards to Christian Male and Female relationships at University.
Can I speak to the ladies first? Long gone are the days when femininity and authentic beauty was a prized possession to be attained. Now, a lot of us share the motto "I can do everything a man can do, just BETTER! " and these are the cries of several Christian women on campus. The post-modern woman feels if she embraces her femininity, she is weak and men will take advantage of her. Whether we like it or not God created us to be feminine and not to be masculine. Feminity does not mean shopping for dresses and loving all things pink, but it does mean understanding our God ordained positions as women. Our strong but delicate nature is not to be hated but praised.
Some of you arrived at University with a misconception. A misconception that many girls are suffering with the consquences of it today. There is a common lie among Christian female students that they will meet their husband at University. Whoever voiced such nonsense needs a reality check. As a result of this lie, many girls come to University all bushy tailed and bright eyed, waiting for Mr Right in their lecture hall. Christmas term approaches, followed by Easter term ....still no sign of this potential Mr. Right. Not too bad you think, afterall it's only your first year. However, by your second year you begin to get impatient and you begin to wonder that you might have missed him, or worse God is being cruel by not bringing him around. You start wincing at the fact that you only have one more year left of University, so God needs to step His game up.
Before I continue, I know many who have met their spouses at Uni, and have had amazing marriages but if your story does not end up like this don't rush into anything.
Anyway, so we start getting impatient and we start doing things our own way. Take for example my friend Audrey. She fed into the lie that God had to bring her husband during her University career. Well, God wasn't on her agenda and didn't bring him around. Anyway, frustrated and annoyed she began a relationship with Segun. Segun studied engineering with Audrey but he wasn't really walking with the Lord. For example, sex before marriage was a big win for him just as long as he went to church and repented. Audrey a strong believer herself, felt Segun was "the one". He wasn't exactly a Christian but he believed in God, that was good enough for her. Before long, Segun and Audrey began a relationship, which was not Christ centered at all, Audrey's faith began to take a downward spiral as Segun could not encourage her in the Lord. Before we knew it Audrey had comprised her purity and fell pregnant. Segun ended the relationship soon after, and has since acquired a new asset. I mean girlfriend...
If Audrey had waited on God, what would have happened?
Women, do we not know that every guy we flirt with, or every guy we have long intimate conversations with is a dishonour to our future husbands. Or every guy we grind on in the clubs is disrespectful. This is not a rebuke, I'm guilty of the same kind of mess. Some of you are diasgreeing with me right now as you feel like you do not have an obligation to your spouse-to-be. Hmm...maybe but we certainly have an obligation to our first love, Jesus Christ.
Proverbs 4: 23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Before anything else, we need to guard our hearts. If my dear friend Audrey had guarded her heart, I don't think her course of life will be as a single mother back in Manchester. Guarding your heart means to be careful in your conversation, pouring the Word into your Spirit and seeking God's wisdom for the course of your life.
Now to the University men. Men, I urge you to guard your own heart but also be a guard of hearts. I think a lot of reasons why some of our Christian sisters fail in areas of relationships is due to the lack of guys caring for their hearts. It's in your nature and God given capacity to be strong enough to protect the heart of a woman. If you see a girl who you find attractive, wait on the Lord. Pray about it. Attraction isn't everything you know? Ask God to show you more about this girl. Most importantly RESPECT her. As long as you have not put a ring on it ,you could be dishonouring her future husband. So, if she does not adhere to your advances it may be because she too is waiting on God for direction. Not because she is "stush" or "frigid" as some of you may kindly put it but she has made God her all in all, for this season of her life.
As you can see, I do not have too much to write on the Men but I hope it has given you insight in some way.
This is what the Lord has been speaking to my on, and has asked me tor reevalute some areas of my life. I pray if need be, you do the same too.
In Christ
Chizor
2 comments:
Wow... amazing! :) do some research and write one for guys too, if you can :)
Right on, dear friend! First & foremost (as I've said repeatedly!), we must respect one another .... and most especially ourselves. Audrey's first mistake was thinking that Segun was "good enough". "Good enough" is NOT good enough. End of story. NEVER SETTLE!!!! I have learned the very, very hard way what comes from that. And yes, our first obligation should always be to Christ, but if not for Him, for ourselves (our self worth, our self esteem, our "self"). We've all woken up at some point & said "What did I do? What was I thinking?" We must behave as tho' Christ were sitting right next to you wherever you go. And pray!!! Pray, as I have, that God will reveal the true essence of someone's character. He's done it countless times for me & I have been very hurt in what comes from that....but nowhere NEAR as hurt as I would have been had I maintained the path I was on. He is faithful!
Oh & another thing. ENJOY college & all it offers. Learn to live ON YOUR OWN first before "looking" for Mr. Right. THAT way, you KNOW you can survive on your own strength with God's grace instead of relying on a man to always take care of you! Yes, we can do almost all things men can do (and often, yes, better! ;o} ), BUT we must stay true to who God made us to be. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to do things that have typically been "masculine" in nature (household repairs, cutting the grass, etc. is an example). BUT, when it becomes an obsession of competitiveness, you're turning from who God created you to be! I HIGHLY recommend "Wild At Heart" by John Eldredge & "Captivating" by he & his wife. It's wonderful reading for anyone interested in the true essence of how God created men & women to be.
Great post, hun!
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