Let the good times roll...

I am probably the most impatient and anxious person you could ever meet. If it wasn't for God's grace, I would be a walking time bomb ready to explode.

Do you ever get so caught up in your life that you forget what God has done or is doing?  I do all the time.

I'm actually not quite sure the point of this current post, maybe I am just killing time. As I do have an Equity and Trusts lecture in 25 minutes. However, I feel I need to just STOP.WAIT.AND LET IT SINK IN.
I was reading Becca's blog today about "cultivating the soil".  It just confirmed what God was telling me. I found myself reminiscing about the times when things were just so "simple" and "easy-going". The days when the soil in my life was fresh, moist and easy to reap a fruitful harvest.  These past few months, the soil in my life seems hard, and it seems as though a farmer is continually using his hoe to break up it's fallow ground. Ouch it hurts! 
Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, For it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rains righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12

I can't depend on the "good and easy times".  God is teaching me maturity for ministry, my family and most of all HIS GLORY.  I need to seek the Lord and abide in Him even when the ground seems so unfruitful.
Patience is virtue.

In China God showed me how to trust Him

First of all, I am not in China - I am still in Sussex in the computer lab. However, I did want to share a dream I had last night.
I will make it short and snappy too, because first off you don't like to read, and second I have an essay due by Thursday.

Dream:

I dreamt that I was in China, and there was war all around me.  I needed to get into safety because I was walking on the enemies territory.  So, I boarded a military truck which was transporting soldiers over the land. I hid in the truck and waited for my time to jump off. I was so scared because I was right in the enemies midst.  Eventually, I sought  the courage to jump off the moving vehicle and I landed. Well, I tumbled and fell flat on my face.

Anyway, I got up off the ground and dusted myself off. Looking around I found that I jumped off into a landmine. There were explosives all around me. If I made one false move I was dead.  Suddenly a soldier appeared with heavy weaponry and started shouting to me in Chinese. I couldn't understand a word he was saying (sorry I haven't been trained to dream in Mandarin).  In spite of all this, I could tell the soldier was concerned for my well being. He was pointing and speaking in Chinese, trying to tell me how to avoid the mines and the path I should go on.

As I jotted this down in my journal this morning, scriptures came to my mind :

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

I couldn't understand what this guy was saying. Which way? What should I do? I knew I had to get clarity if not I will be blown to smitherines.

All of sudden, a little girl and boy came hopping through the landmine. They were skipping and laughing, dodging and weaving the bombs. They seemed so care-free despite playing amongst death.

The solider in his sterness told the children to take my hand and lead me through the mines. So they did.

I followed them.

I saw a path which was clearly marked and seemed safe. I told the children that it may be safer to take this path, rather than skipping and hopping over land mines.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways acknowledge him,  and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs: 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

If I had followed the path which looked right and clear to me, my life would have been over.

The children knew better, so we continued leaping and skipping over the landmine.

Just like in Song of Songs when the King is asking His spouse to skip over the mountains and to come away with Him.

Finally we came to safety . There is more to the dream but I will save that for my journal. However, there is something so profound about this dream.

You see, the night before I had been praying to God to make clear His will concerning my life . I had tried to figure it out for myself but it only caused me to become frustrated and agitated.

I've actually been a little apprehensive about praying to God due to fear of disappointment or praying for the wrong thing.

The dream showed me a few things. a) The soldier I believed represented the voice of God- before we hear God we need to know Him. I wasn't familiar with Chinese and couldn't understand. I could only pick up a few things of what he was saying. That reflects some of our lives today. We can't really tune into the voice of God because we are not familiar with His "language".

b) But God being ever merciful, sent help. The children I believe represented the faith I should have. Faith like a child. In the midst of uncertainty, and trails - I need to have faith like children. These children were so care-free in the midst of the landmine.
c) I have rational thoughts- there are directions in my life which seem clear and easy but will only lead to my destruction. Sometimes, I need to have faith in God rather than trusting my own instincts.
d) Having faith like a child will bring me to safety.

Butterfly and Pearls - New kid on the block

Hello, my name is Chizor Beverley Opara, I am 21, bordering 22 and I am a law student in the United Kingdom.

I just came across Kelly's Korner via another blog's link. She invited all those that use blogspot as a ministry to others to come and spread the word. That is so funny because last night I was in bed praying and I said to the Lord " God please connect me to women of God who blog in order to minister to the brokenhearted" then this morning I heard of Kelly's Korner.

I began blogging not to long ago actually, after going through the "deep valley" during my 2nd year at law school. This required me to be pulled to the feet of Jesus and in the midst of it all the Lord told me to write.
 God walked me through issues with my weight, depression, anxiety, insecurities and mental health.  I am yet to write my testimony on here, but God has been so gracious to me. And to be honest if I hadn't experienced so much in my life, I don't think I could minister to people on on campus, abroad and on the worldwide web.

I write if God puts things on my heart so that I can edify the body, as I feel that there are so many hurting women in the church who are being overlooked.

Also I am learning to keep to word limits so bear with me!

God bless

The Pursuit of Happiness...battling Depression

I don't know about you but I've come to the realization that many young people deal with depression. God has truly been placing a burden on my heart regarding friends and family who deal with it. I believe I have no right to write about depression if I haven't had a fair share of it already.


No matter how little the issue is that caused you to become depressed or how deep the wound is - pain is pain. That's why I wrote a few tips encouraging other people who fight against depression.



1. Get out of bed in the morning: During my life, an incident occurred which threw me off course. My biggest struggle was to get out bed in the morning. If you have experienced grief then maybe some of you can relate to this. It wasn't that I was tired but I was just afraid to face the world. My body was in agony and my heart was heavy. I wanted to lie there and ponder on obsessive thoughts that were not of God. "Everything seemed so pointless."

The worst thing you can do when going through a time of sorrow is to stay in bed. We wake from a fitful, 
You need to press on; staying in bed actually makes everything a lot worse. And do you know what you don't need to wake up feeling helpless. God's word says This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24.

God who is altogether lovely and perfect created today. So go ahead and rejoice in it!



2. Eat well

I've found that to bring honour and glory to God we need to take care of the body. I remember a time where I was so devastated by circumstances in my life - and this is the honest truth, within a few days I had dropped in weight dramatically. It's as though my appetite flew out the window. I had worked myself into such a state that my clothes were hanging off me, my jeans wouldn't stay up and I could see bones on my body where I didn't even think I had bones. Every few minutes I had to sit down because my body was so exhausted all the time due to lack of nutrition. I was over-working my body.

However I have learned to be good to my body. Start  eating regularly, cooking nice meals for yourself and every morning have a nutritious breakfast. You should cherish yourself too!

I found that when people are going through rough patches in life, there can be a tendency to over eat. God is with you and so use your physical body as a testimony to God's faithfulness. Exercise is believed to also increase the release of the brain chemicals that affect our mood and make us feel happier.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

3. Fight depression on your knees: in prayer and in the Word of God

For reasons beyond me, I found that in the early days of facing trials, I was so upset that I could fall asleep but wake up 45 minutes later. Only to be plagued with thoughts that were haunting me. I would fall asleep again and as you can guess 45 minutes later I was awake. Thinking, crying, distressed. This was getting ridiculous. So, I began keeping my bible and journal by my bedside. Therefore, whenever I did wake up in the middle of the night I could easily just reach over and pick up my bible before evil thoughts came. This is an art to be practiced, it does not come easy. You may find that you are still waking up again, but what you need to do is reach over for that bible and read it. Keep on going! Nowadays I can sleep quite peacefully without having to wake up. I go to bed with the Word of God in my heart. I can tell you it works like soothing medicine. Proverbs 4:20-22 My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.

Let me be frank: you are not going to fight this battle on the offense alone - you need Jesus to be right there with you in the midst of it all. His Word is true - I can testify to that!

4. Seek help

No one should go through the battle of depression alone. Jesus has no desire to leave you or forsake you in the midst of it. In the midnight hour God is there - ever present as He is, holding your hand.

I believe it's the Church's responsibility to gather around hurting people. There is a popular belief that goes along the lines of this: "If you are dealing with depression then it's because you have no faith”. What?! That is crazy and most of all unbiblical. King David the Psalmist experienced extreme depression - look through all the "dark Psalms" it's there in black and white. Sorry if I am hitting some soft spots but how can we be effective in the world if we are neglecting our own community.

The final point I want to make is if it's getting very bad, then don't feel condemned to see a doctor. Ultimately Jesus is our Great Physician and He should be our first point of contact but go seek professional help if you need to. I know depression can be caused by hormone imbalances, don't feel guilty and less of a Christian if you may need to take medication at times to keep in balance.

But I do want to stress again that Jesus is whom we should turn to first.

I know each situation differs but through prayer and seeking Godly counsel, I pray this really helps somebody see the strength of Jesus in their situation.

Why I am determined to make Valentine's day a good'un

It's that time of year again, yes it's the official Clinton Cards day of "Love". Valentines day!

Febuary 14th will be here in 12 hours.   Earnestly speaking my stomach has been doing full 360 degree flips at the thought of Valentines day 2010. Last night I lay in bed journaling and reading the scriptures, just waiting on the Lord. I began pouring out my heart to God and just sharing with Him the fears I had about the future. 

I wondered how I should spend my Valentine's day. I could lay in my  bed under the blankets, hugging a bottle of whiskey and sleeping the whole day, waiting for it to be Febuary 15th. I could kit myself up and grab the next geezer and allow him to slobber on my neck and talk about himself for 2 hours straight just so I can say that I have a date. Hmm...both of those options sound so depressing and the latter extremely disgusting.
Or I could spend the day enjoying my time with friends as a single and most importantly in  the presence of God. There is something about being in the presence of God that is life changing.  I don't know where I will  be next Valentines but the stakes are pretty high that I will probably be single still, but to be honest I'm o.k. with that.
We all desire to have relationships but the time as a single woman/man is something that we can't get back once we are married.  I mean I am sure marriage is wonderful, yet so is singleness.
It's that idea of being alone that God will work, like the  quote says "Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can stand still".   As corny as it may sound but I believe that there is purpose in being single.  God has brought me to a place where He is actually  training me for marriage.  Yes, in being single the more time you devote to God, the more I believe you are getting ready for marriage .
Funny that this scripture (vs 34)  refers to women not men : I want you to be without care …. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34.  God knows that for the woman especially, there is work to be done in her time of singleness. I too asked God "What is my purpose of being single right now?"


I've been praying a lot more, learning to exercise the gifts of the spirit and just fighting my battles on my knees.  I pray because I am praying for my family to come, I am exercising the gift of faith because one day I am going to need it for my children. The other day I felt a cold coming on and I knew that if I became sick I would have to miss classes. My throat became soar and my nose blocked but a scripture from Mark 11:12  came to my heart saying "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." 
I stood on the scripture and stood against the sickness commanding it to leave my body. I fell asleep still feeling quite poorly but praise God I woke up the next morning  completely whole!
It's just a cold but it made me see that there will come a point in my life that my son or daughter may fall sick and it will call for action. Action in the spirit! Often my mother has laid hands on my siblings and I and the healing came.  I used to wonder how she did it.  It's because my mother spent many hours in her prayer closest sorting it out with God many years before.

So, being single at 21 (almost 22) isn't that bad at all. I can honestly say that when it's just you and God - heaven begins to move on your behalf. I think relationships are exciting and fun and God will just move all the same .  Yet I honestly speaking I have been experiencing a relationship with  Him that when Mr Right eventually does come along,  I'll know not to put my confidence in man (your man will fail you- simple fact) but in Jesus.  Out of my heart's cry I spoke to the Lord and said "Don't bring "the one" along until I've seen you Jesus". Ever since then Jesus has been enough. Don't get me wrong it gets difficult at times and I feel...well I get a little lonely sometimes.  However, David in the bible says in Psalms 40:1-3   I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry... and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
I'm waiting but doing it patiently without the 5 second intervals of "when God?" but just singing a new song to the Lord regarding my life.

Besides my friend says she'll take Lily and I to a chinese restaurant on graduation day if we come out single. As a hard headed Nigerian, I am not about to lose a challenge!

Happy Valentines Day!

Make room for grace...it's not fair God!

Let's be honest with ourselves, somethings in life are just not "fair".
I've actually come to  realize that we all need the grace of God.  My friend Shana told me the story of her father abandoning  her mother only to begin an affair with her mother's best friend.  Some of us reading this have already put our "judgemental hats" on and are wagging a stern finger at Shana's father.  When she recited the story to me, I asked her one question. "Did your father ever apologise to your mother?".  Guess what? Her father never once said he was sorry, in fact he thought what he did was acceptable and he had no regrets.

As a law student or even going to the University of Sussex (which is extremely liberal) we all cry out for FREEDOM and JUSTICE.  If a little girl is raped by her step-dad and her young body is chopped into pieces, we accept justice to be done. But sometimes  the father gets off scott free. How do we explain this? Why aren't people being punished for such shamelessness?

Speaking to a lot of aethists and non-believers this week I found that a lot of people have an issue with the whole concept of God allowing suffering and the wicked prospering. It's because God has put in our heart a desire for justice and righteousness. I am not going to get onto the topic of suffering right now...that will be a later blog. However, after talking to Shana and about what  she had been through she told me something profound. She said "Chizor let's face it, the world is a pretty crap place. Chizor life isn't going to be blissful. Justice won't always be done. You (speaking hypothetically) may get married to someone who is stuck in internet pornography or worse still is an adulteror and an abuser- life is just crap. But you are going to have make room for GRACE."

I began to think of all the horrible stuff I do against Jesus. If he punished me and gave me what I deserved for every sin- I believe I would have been dead.  Yet the Saviour King makes room for grace.
I believe we all could learn a lesson here. It's not about letting people get away with things but...I think it's just acknowledging the fragility of humans.
People are going to do things which are unexplainable. The saying goes like this:  hurting people hurt other people. I was always a strong believer of the idea that "If you hurt me be prepared to get what's coming to you" or "Apologise...right NOW!" Imagine if God had that attitude towards us. Where would I be? Where would YOU be?  Let's look at reality : Life isn't always fair to us.

To be frank, last night I asked God "When will all this pain end because I am getting weary?" My question was speaking out of my circumstances. I wanted circumstances in my life to change in order to be happy. I wanted to find my happiness in situations. The bible says in Psalm 42 :Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope [confidence] in God, for I will yet praise him...
What we need is not so much a change of story but rather the grace to walk the chapter out. Hehehe...that was pretty deep right there.  As God gave us grace let us be gracious to others.

That's all I really could share tonight. I wanted to write more but couldn't.

Night!

B*itch!, S*lt, Whore! - So, I shared my testimony last night

B*itch!, S*lt, Whore! Those were the words coming out of Nay's mouth during her readpation of the The Woman at the Well  last night.  As some of you are aware the Christian Union are putting on events all this week on campus just to get people aware of what the Christian Union actually do and most especially who J.C is (for all of you who are not current with Christian colloquialism it means Jesus Christ.) 

To cut a long story short, I had volunteered a few weeks ago to share my testimony with students at one of the local bars on campus for our Open Mic event.  I was scared silly! I couldn't really concentrate on the music - which was awesome by the way but I never expected such a crowd. A crowd of non- christians...

I don't know why it never occured to me that I was required to give my life story infront of non-believers- it just didn't click. My heart had been doing flips all day, and I suddenly whispered into my friend's Lois's ear whilst the band was playing and asked: "Can you PLEASE pray for me?".  As lovely as Lois's is, that's exactly what she did. After she prayed I just felt God telling me that my testimony wasn't about me, and I had nothing to be ashamed about.  The word "B*itch* was no longer my name, but He had given me a new name.

God wanted me to be just the vessel and He would speak through me.

Ok, it's one thing giving your testimony in front of christians at your local church, it's a totaly different pond having to share your testimony in front of aethists, muslims, skeptics, homosexuals and others. And you know that Sussex University is the most unreligious and most liberal university you could ever come across.  A few minutes being behind the mic, I began to drop the name of Jesus. Yes I began to speak about how the same resurrecting power of Jesus Christ came into my life.

A lot of my Christian friends didn't even know my testimony, they were all shocked. But there was nothing that I did or said that caused this to happen. It was because the presence of Jesus showed up in that bar.

Do you know what happened after that?  Jesus get's all the glory, but my friend Becky comes up to me and says "Chizor, thank you for sharing your testimony, my housemate (who is not a christian) heard your testimony and wants to get onto an Alpha Course. I am trying not to cry right now Chizor but thank you". There is nothing that I did! I am not writing this to pomp myself up but I will say this though, WHEN THE POWER OF JESUS SHOWS UP EVEN THE AETHIST'S IDEOLOGIES WILL HAVE TO BOW TO THAT NAME!

Joyce Meyer aka Aunty Joyce who suffered child abuse at the hands of her father once said: "Sometimes God will allow you to go through somethings just to help someone else". I used to get so mad hearing this. I say "God, you mean I have to suffer pain and experience heartbreak to help somebody else?" God in His infinite patience will kindly answer me: " Yes, Chizor now get our of your self-pity".

I've always wanted to be a missionary and help the brokenhearted but if I am at Law School to allow Becky's friend to hear my testimony of Jesus then "yes and amen". The other day, I recieved an email from someone who I least expected an email from. They just told me how my blogs had been blessing to them and my writings (inspired by the Holy Spirit) caused him to desire to remain more focused on God.

I do nothing, I am just a vessel. Be encouraged in your pain! God's not finished with your story yet!